Breakfast dogfighting on Brighton beach with T4

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The first thing I thought of upon rolling out of bed this morning, after bumping into a few choice items, was "I really fancy breakfast on the beach today". Being that I live a proverbial hop, skip and a jump - 'be it a rather stifled one' away from the sea front, this is something I regularly consider but very rarely do.

So after pushing my flat mate Lois towards the shower, feeding my fish, washing away the previous day with Tuscan honey extracts and making sure the Chihuahua that rules my life is feeling adequately nurtured, we all headed off for a nice quiet breakfast. We; being me, Lady Uma Darcy and my long suffering ex Lois. So sunnies on and change jingling in our pockets we three strode forth for the and peace and calm that 'Louis Beach Cafe' brings with its giant slabs of toast and wireless access ..... BUT calm was not to be.

The morning was sunny and blissfully windy, making the sea alive with white foam and adventurous kite surfers. I had noticed some odd looking lights whilst approaching the meeting place cafe and snarled at the thought of some tacky fairground attraction with flip flop and sock wearing Brits and toddlers peeing on pebbles, Lois how ever cooed in childish wonder of what lay ahead and Uma, well she could have cared less but LIGHTS there were and we were perambulating towards them.

Seconds later we were embroiled in conflict with a anal retentive woman and her brow beaten husband whose "obese wire haired terrier' had attacked Uma, much to my little angels surprise, even though she had rather grandly launched herself at him like a mountain lion crossed with a demented squirrel.

Anyway, the woman has been extremely upset that my tiny toothless counterpart had attacked her precious fat alphie and demanded rather too seriously that we tell her "why, our dog had attacked hers". Now I’ve know Uma for 9 years and I have to say that in all that time, we haven’t really talked all that much about her 'issues'. "erm.... she's insecure" I tried and then Lois added "is your dog ok?', I was thinking "not with you as an owner you pompous prick, I hope your baby turns out to be gay"... then we parted ways with the husband holding onto little alphie so the dog looked like he was taking part in a lamas class and irked after cruela devil and his offspring.

We then bumped into my work colleague from Leapfrogg Christos who told us that 'The Streets' were playing in the T4 on the beach concert thingy today just past the old pier. "Well that explains the lights".

The stage looked all very impressive and as we passed by, the T4 presenters Steve Jones, June Sarpong and Miquita Oliver were prepping for their show from a big painted BUS. Some guys were shouting "were gunna pan a camera over all you guys and you start screaming ok" the screams started in seconds, the crowd of about "200" going mad.

Then two old ladies on a day trip were trying to coax a pretty looking African girl to give them a couple of passes to the gig, she was smiling sweetly but you could tell she was thinking "OAP's on T4. No way".

Anyway, we arrived at 'Louis Beach Cafe' and had a Tea and coffee, I was going to have one of the huge doorstep cinnamon toasts but the wind was pretty unforgiving so I decided that a liquid breakfast would suffice, and so settled back to bitch about the woman with the demon dog and down trodden husband. Lois informed me that she had been a theorist, there for had to be right at the expense of everything else, she's so wise.

We then wandered back towards home to head for a scrummy veggie lunch at "revitalise" as we had a hankering for a 'breakfast in a glass' smoothie and tofu burger with all the trimmings. I got a few shots of the 'streets' on stage, which was interesting, and guys in tabards kept hassling us to go join the crowd to make up the numbers, BUT tofu called so we soldiered on.

Uma met up with a couple of her mates out side the Grand hotel. Curtis it seams is a political activist and was midway through scratching out a protest message when we caught up with them. Fee fee it seamed was set to star in an up and coming episode of Dexter as a victims cushion of all things, but like I said to her "your young darling and you’ve got to start somewhere".

 We were extremely luckily to catch the "hove lawns hot wheels" team race, only three OAPs were involved, it was between Arnold with his manual walker and Betty and Alma on the electric wheelchairs, it was rather tense for a second when Alma disappears off for a wee, but I think by the end Betty had it in the bag!

 

Going to settle down to watch the last few episodes of desperate housewife’s and try and shake this incredible crush on bree Vander camp that has enslaved me (can't resist a woman that loves cleaning and violence) and maybe I’ll grab some chips 'those kids look good. Might nick them'.

Have a great start to the week and watch out for theorists they bite ... bye. "Lois hang on, wheres the dog?"

PS: Bloggers new format and tools SUCK - no more spell check or image placement, thus the dodgy postioning of these ones. Wordpress i am yours very soon my funny plug in happy friend.

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